Commitment

A running joke between me and some of my friends is that I have commitment issues. While this is partially true, and partially not true, it does have me motivated to meet my goal of two posts a month!

Why would you say I have commitment issues? Well because it does take me a while to warm up to an idea that will have a lasting effect on me. I like to think of myself as a spontaneous planner - I love spontaneity in my life, but I also like to have plans, and I like to know where things are headed. But I like to have options, no I love to have options. This had me thinking about how this applies to my life (i.e. where did this come from, how does it help/hinder me) .

Where does this come from? Growing up I quickly became a planner - I had a very stern step-father (now ex) who wanted to know exactly what my plans were, where I was going, and what was happening. On top of that the home environment was not exactly the most pleasant, and the way I made that better was by planning out not only my future, but my day-to-day life, by the hour. There were days, that I can remember, especially the weekends, where I would calculate how many hours of downtime I would have in the house. So because of this I am a planner. I enjoy having a plan, but as I've grown I've learned to enjoy the spontaneity of life and look for those opportunities to continue growing in this area. I also truly think this is where my need for options comes from as well. Just in case one plan fell through, at least there was another.

How does this help and/or hinder me? I think this, sometimes conflicting, need for plans and options and spontaneity in my life causes me unnecessary anxiety. Yet it really helps me with my focus, it enables me to focus in on what my goals are while staying open to new possibilities.I do not allow this "commitment issue" to affect my work - I am dedicated to the work I do, my students, and my department.

Have you faced some of these experiences with commitment? If you have here are some tips. I would also love to hear your tips! Let me know on twitter @byebyeryan

1. Own it. Self-awareness is the first step.
2. Take on commitments that you can handle.
3. In the end do what's best for you! Keeping your options open - is not an excuse to not choose something or lead people on. Make your intentions known.